LGBTQIA+ Issues in the Courtroom and the Family Law Profession

Webinar presentation by the Honorable Elise Myer.

District Court Judge, 9^th Judicial District Reviewed by Lenny Tanis, JD

On Tuesday, February 18, 2025, Judge Elise Myer presented an informative and instructive Webinar on LGBTQIA+ issues for family law professionals. This was a similar presentation to one Judge Myer provided at the COAFCC Annual Fall Conference in October 2024. However, as Judge Myer rightly noted, the legal landscape for the LGBTQIA+ community, and thus for all family law professionals, has changed significantly since October with the changes to Federal policies by Executive Orders. Judge Myer shared she had a transgender child and how scary it has become for that community. It is vitally important for family law professionals to keep abreast of the legal landscape.

From the beginning Judge Myer emphasized how we need to recognize the human element in those we serve, recognizing everyone’s circumstances are unique. She also emphasized people often are not aware and don’t necessarily see what is right in front of them but seems obvious to others. For instance, she related the story of comedian Tig Notaro riding in the car with her spouse and their two children. She was stunned to find out the children had no concept of their parents being “gay” or even understanding what “gay” was. To them, they simply had two moms.

For members of the community, there is always the concern about how people will view them. For her as a judge, she walks into the courtroom and worries will people be upset. She also noted it is important for we professionals to debias our practice. We don’t have to agree with someone to do a good job working with them. So do not make assumptions about identity/sexuality and use inclusive and gender affirming language, not outdated terminology. For instance, use parental leave, not maternity leave, and partner or spouse, not wife or husband. Ask what pronouns the client uses, not what they prefer, and what is their sexual orientation, not sexual preference. Let the person volunteer the information about who they are. It is also

important to ensure your staff is trained in cultural competency. And never, ever out someone without explicit consent.

As an attorney, it is important to prepare yourself and your client for bias in the courtroom. Don’t have your client educate you, educate yourself. Simple good intentions without proper knowledge can lead to very hurtful words being spoken. That landscape is also changing with neopronouns now being used that reject the nonbinary they/them/their.

These are but a few of the insights from Judge Myer’s excellent presentation. If you missed the initial presentation, I urge you to go to the COAFCC website and obtain the Webinar for yourself. You will find it well worth the small dollar cost and time spent watching it. I also urge you to see the follow up Webinar on LGBTQIA+ issues this month, Navigating Family Court Cases with LGBTQ+ Clients: Obstacles and Paths Forward, presented by Lindsey Sank Davis, Ph.D. Look elsewhere in the edition of Snippets for more information on the Webinar and Dr. Davis.